life's a bitch

how many times we discover that life is just a facade of lies. things you don't trust, people who fools you, realities that are manipulated.

how long is life, to be wasted on worring on crap? how long is life, for us to find out lies after lies after lies? how long can human last, to face harsh realities?

i shall fall. fall deep into the trenches of sorrow, the rivers of blood, the pit of darkness. let me fall, i shall fall...

life's a bitch

how many times we discover that life is just a facade of lies. things you don't trust, people who fools you, realities that are manipulated.

how long is life, to be wasted on worring on crap? how long is life, for us to find out lies after lies after lies? how long can human last, to face harsh realities?

i shall fall. fall deep into the trenches of sorrow, the rivers of blood, the pit of darkness. let me fall, i shall fall...

fuck it

life sucks. face it.

sigh

i feel like... dunno, ripping something apart at this moment?

i'm just.. sighing deep down in my heart. i don't know why.

bloody hell, what's wrong. sigh, i was going to write something but, ah, i'd say 'ah fuck it'. i just don't have the strength to prove a point anymore. ah, fuck it.

sigh...

Chinese New Year!

Chinese New Year day today.

Not much of a celebration, just quiet, peaceful, normal day here in Perth. Many years ago I'd have felt homesick. But not anymore, perhaps, because I've 'less' friends back home? I'm not sure. My whole social life thing is in a chaos.

Oh, and www.eclipse-space.com is up. Hop along to see my photoblog. Happy!

flight to nowhere

flight to nowhere
Originally uploaded by louislpk.

as i was surfing through friendster just then, it suddenly hit me.

i had this nostalgic feeling- of my friends back in sibu. to be honest, i've not felt this way for quite a way. at least not after so many years.

i had a great secondary school time, from form 1 to 3, it was... fun. i don't know, maybe during the time i had downs and ups, but nothing beats that time. i had more than acquitances, i had friends.

looking at my life today, i really do miss those times. when we were young and carefree. now, there is less than a handful of people whom i regard as friends.

and i don't know why, even back in sibu, i do not have the "heart" to catch up with anyone. i mean, i don't even bother to look for my ex-classmates. you get the idea.

maybe it's depression. i realized i can get really depressed. i get mood swings. and my depression has been getting worst and worst.

and the fear of meeting people. hah, i've to go deep and search the cause.

to the many people who i once regarded as close friends, do catch up sometimes ok?

On being Old

On being Old
Originally uploaded by louislpk.

You can imaging what I was thinking while processing this image.

Frankly, I did not know the person was an old lady until I saw it on my computer. I thought she was a boy, 14-16 years of age, due to the fact that she ran like one.

I was looking for something to snap when this came up. She stood there, right where I wanted her to stand. And there, on my prime lens.

I love the reflection in the water. I love the way she was looking up into the sky, as if she's looking for something- heaven perhaps. I love how she is reflected in the water- like her, reflecting on her life or something like that. (It's all about how photos can nurture your imagination)

Anyway, I couldn't resist but name it "On being old", and it got me to reflect and think about life...

New Year 2006

New Year 2006
Originally uploaded by louislpk.

2005 - it is a year to remember.

2005 was the year things changed. For the good for the bad, whichever it is, it has been an interesting year for me.

Perhaps, the biggest and most significant was the foundation of the "Young Adult Servant" team. I had the urge to start this young adult 'wing' for the youth in Sibu due to various reasons. But through the foundation of this team, youth ministries have had a huge leap in 2005. Things were better and easier.

Coming up with the organizational structure was challenging. But through prayer and guidance of the Holy Spirit, things came out really great. Of course, there still needed to be changes, and I did so when I was back in December.

Apart from that, I started coaching as a part time job. Coaching badminton is fun, and brought me some 'pocket money'. I also was affiliated with the Badminton Association and am going to be accrediated as a Level 1 coach in due course.

These were probably the more significant achievement of 2005. Of course, there were few struggles as well. And many were resolved and some still in the process.

2006 will be more challenging for me. I want to be more independent-financially in 2006. I want to do better in my studies. I want to be better in my new-found passion- photography. And most importantly, I want to keep up with my prayer life.

I realized in 2005 how vulnerable life is. For a moment a person can be ever-so-happy and the next, the person would have to face death. It has been 2 years in a row that I attended the funeral of "used-to-be-active" youth member while back in Sibu. That's why I realized it's always too important to live today instead of "tomorrow", and do as much as we can for God.

2006... what awaits me?

Blogging Cycle

IMGP3080
Originally uploaded by louislpk.

I've been thinking lately, of whether
I should restart blogging.

It has been a while since I did some serious blogging. My yearn for blogging comes and go... Sometimes when I read up old posts, I would feel how immature I was. And I would be ashamed of people reading those immature stuff. I'd then take down my blog. It's like a cycle really.

I've been more into photoblogs, but that lasted for just over 3 months. And it's kinda stagnated now as my domain registration is expiring and I would not want to continue uploading new photos. Perhaps I'd continue when I've migrated to a new server.

Well, maybe I'd continue blogging. Maybe it'd be once in a blue moon. Maybe...